bali

anyone?
(give me a ticket here as my reward),
lets get going !

yesterday

hv u ever felt that when you can feel what comin,
what to expect when u're expecting?,
HAHA,
not in THAT way ,
its like when you can feel and predict whats gonna happen next,
to be honest,
i do and it has been hunting me since forever,
hv u ever felt how it was to be working ur ass off out of something,
and the opposite happens?,
yesterday .
since the first day i've lived for the past 3 months,
yesterday was the day i have been thinking of ,
am i strong enough to go through it?,
does it gonna hurt so bad?,
am i ready to face this?
is this going to be the day im gonna regret my whole life?
whats gonna happen next
i kept thinking.
no matter what happens i'll hv go through this,
we're humans,we are not angles,
we do mistakes in life and we learn from them,
mistakes.
eversince yesterday,
when the result came out,
i feel it ,
i do,
how it feels to be so guilty abt the ppl that hv been always there fr u,
but the fact that i hv set my mind the night bfr,
that i hv put my trust in Allah SWT,
i hv to accept it,
yes,
even it hurts,
even thinking of it,
hurts a lot .
i wish i could say to the ppl that i care and love ,
how i really feel abt it,
even they said its the best fr me and they are ok with it,
its not fr me,
if i'd had the apportunity to say this to them,
i'd say,
i'm sorry that the thing we're so afraid of had happened ,
i know its alright fr all of u,
it makes me feel so bad,
im sorry fr not accepting any calls ,whatsapp,texts,mentions,everything
as what im going through
is very hard fr me,
hence,
i'm blessed.
Allah .
He knows whats the best fr us,
things happen .
and this time,
i need space fr myself,
thank you family,
even i've said there's nothing to be proud of,
im still getting all the advices and supports from all of u,
fr cheering me up,
fr making me feel better,
not to mention dinner and presents,
my parents,
the moment i hold that slip ,
i know its hard fr u to see what im going through,
i can see it in ur eyes,
no matter what ppl say,
im the one going through this and fr sure,
nobody can ever understand hw it feels,
but still,
thank you very much fr the endless support ,
parents ,
family,
batchmates,
and to whom who ever know me,
i may fall once ,
but i'll stand up eight.
thank you once again,
to the ppl who hd always be with me throughout this journey,
(fr my twin,nia)
im sorry fr not replying any of ur whatsapp and everything,
i switched off my cell phone,
i need the time,
not to worry ok,
i wont hurt myself,
its jst,
i hv been doing things that i really want to do,
like eating and watching korean movies all day,
(im gaining weight pls)
i'll get bck to you soon,
jst wait till im ready.
xo

cravings

ok so,
i hv been wondering ,
is this only myself or everyone feels the same thing.
hv you ever felt like nobody understands you,
you feel it but you jst dont know how to express it,
truthfully,
this might be whatever but,
i hv been crying too much lately,
i hv a family and i love them all of my life,
i hv Allah to whom i jst let everything out ,
and prays so that He could guide me to the right way ,
i believe that He knows what and which is the best fr me,
and lately,
fr the past one month actually.
i really think i need some break,
to a place with beach and peace,
i dont know what hv happening to me,
not to mention fragile but,
i jst get touched easily maybe.
i get very sensitive and thinking what i had actually been through ,
all these 15 years of living,
i deserve one .
god is this one of those teenage emotional problems?
gosh .
this hits me so hard then.

lovelies

ohmygosh,
guess what?!,
ariana grande and nathan sykes are offically dating !,
this is jst too sweet,
i can actually see it the first time i watched their duet,
'almost is never enough',
but then,
after that i heard they were offically together,
this is jst so lovely ok,
you guys are the sweetest,
i jst love them so much !,
haha ,
stay together till the end,
much love .

paradise

wish i could be here right now.

little things

just let me tell you abt myself,
i love chocolates and pasta,
but thats not it ,
i am so in love with beautiful flowers,
i love the sun ,sea and sand the most,
i grow up going to beaches during school holidays,
i love vintage  ,
i love travelling around the world,
to explore the places i hv never been before,
i love music,
but i love jazz songs the most ,
my ulimate latest favourite song is ,
almost is never enough by ariana grande and nathan sykes,
its just my kind of music,
i like some hip hop too,
i hv passion in baking and photography,
i love going to places with beaches,
waking up to the sound of the waves are just wonderful,
i love going to  short getaways with my friends and family,
jst to release all these burden that in my head and mind,
i may not called a bookworm,
but i am absolutely in love with books,
call me a weirdo,
but i think im in love with the places i hv never been before,
and the people i hv never met before.

tadaaaa !

yes,
this is the answer to all the questions,
when you think about something,
think positive,
so that ur body can produce more positive thoughts,
besides,
you will be happy,
you will feel peace,
the affects goes to the people around and you,
yourself.
lets say,
when something bad is happening,
we have to think that,
something good will come out of it,
that ,
when you lose it,
something better will be replaced,
that is what we call "hikmah",
Allah knows the best for you,
and ,
do smile and be happy all the time,
everyone knows that,
"you lost 60 seconds of happiness,
when you fell sad for a minute"
live life the way it should be,
xx

life

i am the type person,
that believes ,
"what goes around comes around",
you know what,
okay.before that,
i have not for really long years yet,
but this is what i think about life now,
when you hurt people feelings,
you wont feel right,
when you are destroying other peoples
happiness,
your will be like a crazy peron,
cause ur plan will never work on them,
and most importantly,
seeing them being completely happy,
now thats life nowdays,
why do people get jealous of others,
why do people have to destroy other peoples happiness?,
why do people have to hurt others?
u should hv known what humanity is .

paradise baby

truthfully,
inneed of paradise getaway!
lets pack our bags,
sunblock,
shades,
and lets get going !

dream on

"life holds a special magic,
to people,
who dare to dream"
A.

camp

ola people of the earth!,
oh my nobody knows how much i miss blogging,
so here it goes,
i went to this camp somewhere,
it was beyond what i have expected,
imagine,
we have about 170 people,
sharing about 4 toilets and a few showers,
and not all of them function well,
the first day,
we had our day full with activities,
but mostly,
studies where i do my best,
well haha!,
u know what,
the food was so so so delicious,
we have 6 freaking meals a day and i never skipped,
even one of it,
the second day,
the part that we have been waiting ,
jungle trekking baby!,
omg ,
we climbed up this very high street,
and finally the jungle!,
we stopped at the top and we were so overwhelmed ,
with the beautiful scenery,
masyaAllah ,
the most challanging part was when we had to ,
go  through all those very steep tracks,
i almost fell up there,
alhamdulillah my friend caught me ,
the last day,
we had classes and motivation session,
i had learned so much from this camp,
i feel so lucky to have that apportunity to feel ,
the hardness of people,
like how to live without any facilities that we have in our lives,
at the camp,
we took bathe with frogs looking at you,
even they jump in ur room!,
i learned a lot,
to appreciate things around you and ,
\remember to always thank Allah for giving u what u have now,
i feel blessed to feel,
and to gain such priceless experience.
A.

2013

magadz!,
it has been ages since the last time i posted something,
so basically,
2013 has not been that great ,
i really think that,
going through life everyday,
is like answering different questions,
every single day,
and the way you solve them shows how you will end up,
to laugh or to cry,
now life is complicated but we have to make it ,
as easy as ABC c:

dear john

"2 weeks,
2 weeks is all it takes,
to  make me fall for you",
this movie makes me think about life a lot,
it makes me think more,
this is not weird,
right?

missing

heloooooooo there,

i am finally back,

it has been so long ,

omg omg!

i miss blogging so much 

:3